I constantly think of things these days. I transferred all my thoughts onto facebook (yes, the evilness of the world). But it doesn't make me feel better, I like this better and I should put more things where they belong. I like the fact that I feel more transparent here, the fact that no one reads this anymore anyway. To update myself, I am single again. But I guess you should have probably guessed that from the post a year ago. I am struggling with many things in my life, struggling with being alone for the first time in years. I was truly in love, my heart was hers. my heart was broken, shattered into a million pieces. Now I sit at home, work, take care of the kids (yes, full time father, full time worker, no time to myself). It is difficult. especially when I have so many feeling still inside of me, especially when I was hurt so bad. I hate her, but I don't really. I hate her for what she did to me, how she hurt me. But I don't really hate her. But I have never told her that, and I probably never will. But the hurt runs deep, very deep. And I don't know how to handle that.